periods vs "male privilege"
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16-08-2016, 03:52 PM
periods vs "male privilege"
So I found this article

http://www.upworthy.com/what-i-realized-...at-a-party

TLDR: A woman was at a party where the hostess made female hygiene products available in a basket in the bathroom. A male guest voiced his discomfort about seeing those items. The writer of the article calls this behaviour male privilege.

Warning, I speak of the female monthly period! You have been warned, now keep reading Tongue

Here is my opinion TLDR: Ignorance of a subject does not equal male privilege.

Here is my opion (complete version):
First of all, I find it very considerate by the hostess of the party to make these products available. Every woman can probably understand why, but for the men who might not know why: The period of a woman doesn't usually come like clockwork, sometimes it comes off schedule. Also if you are in a hurry or your flow isn't too heavy, you might not bring any extra when you leave but later you might realize that you need an extra after all.

Now as far as I can tell, the experience surrounding the female reproductive system and so on differs vastly for men and women. Just the same as vice versa.
Men will know maybe from school the very basics, if they paid attention in biology. If they grew up in a very open household, they will understand a little more because they were the lucky ones that could ask such things at home. But not all men had this opportunity growing up. Thinking about very religious families where something like this is just not talked about, or very closed minded families where "that's a woman thing, it doesn't concern us" or simply not being interested which is just fine. After all, I am not supersuperinterested in the male reproductive day-to-day either.
So following this trail of maybe being completely oblivious to some things and then suddenly being confronted with it, I can understand his reaction in the article, that he feels uncomfortable with it. It is new and a lot of people react to new things negatively.

If I would have been in this situation and he would have told me that this should not be openly displayed, I would have explained to him that it is a necessity just like toilet paper, soap, and towels in a bathroom. We are not hiding either of these things and there is no good reason to hide the basket with the tampons and menstural pads either.
Here is the thing, my husband for example, he grew up with his mom and sister. They hid nothing and he knew a lot about all of that stuff. But he still doesn't understand many things and so I have no problem to explain things to him. He knows that he can ask me anything and that I will not laugh or judge but simply answer. It is a safe environment to ask such questions and he has asked me such questions (about period, about female products, about what it feels like when I have my period and if it is the same for all women, etc...)
I feel that articles like that and this whole talk about "male privilege" and not acknowledging that men and women experience things differently, makes it very difficult to just speak about these type of topics. A lot of women will be annoyed, roll eyes, sigh, judge, rant, or just make a man uncomfortable for asking. Well what is to be expected then? - Other than men just backing off from certain topics.

I really hated this article because it was so dumb and inconsiderate and biased...

cheers
Leela

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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16-08-2016, 04:10 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
It hasn't been very long since periods were so hush-hush that even moms did not warn their daughters about "the curse". Yep, it was called "the curse". And my mom and most other little girls back then thought they were dying when they suddenly started bleeding like crazy, from the inside. Something horrible had to have broken! And the pain, cramps and feeling ill all affirmed such horror. My mom went to her mom after bleeding all day and hiding. She was handed a wad of old baby diapers and told this was the curse, and it would happen to her every month. She was to wait until the males had left the house every day to boil the diapers...

My mom did tell me about periods early, when I was 7. We were on vacation and she couldn't go into the water (no tampax back then yet) and I was bugging her about it. So we went for a walk and she told me. So I was spared the horror of suddenly finding myself leaking blood and being in pain... love ya, mom.

I guess since women themselves just recently came to grips with this, we'll need another generation or so until men grow up being comfortable with things.

And yes, feminism isn't all done as yet.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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16-08-2016, 04:20 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
I agree Dom!

My mom told me about her friend when they were teenagers. Her friend had called her late in the evening, crying because she thought she was going to die. And my mom explained to her friend that she just had her period etc.
I was fortunate with my hippy mom really. Nothing was a big secret and I learned this kind of stuff early (always age appropriate of course) so that when it finally happened I wasn't too surprised and all I did was call my mom to the toilet and be like "Mom I think I have my period", so she smiled all proud and happy and gave me menstrual pads to use.

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16-08-2016, 04:30 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
I think that you missed a key argument of the article. In this case the «male priviledge» denounced is fed by the ignorance of men on the subject of menses. She perceives this ignorance as being born out of the complete lack of interest of some sub-culture toward anything that isn't related to women's beauty and sexual availability. Since menses are «filled with evil cooties that God hates» (if you allow me the sarcasm), men shouldn't care about them, know anything about them and be repulsed by any mention or sight of them and should they be expose to the reality of menses they should be very offended. That's the priviledge that's denounced, the idea that a women should only be known to men for what makes her attractive to men instead of what and who she is. The example was simply to illustrate this idea not prove it. I must admit its not a perfect one, but it does drive the point home. Menses aren't disguisting, they a part of any women between 12 and 60 life. Any men who overract like her example to menses is victim of an old mysoginistic cultural taboo surrounding a women's period that trace its origin to the Bible where women having menses are considered impure.

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16-08-2016, 04:31 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
Yep, your mom's generation (my generation) was the last generation not to hear about this before it happened. I was lucky to have an enlightened mom. We were the last generation where many of us still went through that horror.

We were also the generation where a good number of young girls still died from the knitting needle - do it yourself abortions, but the true reason for their deaths would come out more often than in my mom's generation. Causing us to make noise about abortion and getting some laws passed.

Sometimes I sit in dread looking at society taking steps back towards the dark times for women...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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16-08-2016, 04:34 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
I have come across men who won't purchase feminine hygiene products for the women in their lives. Apparently they think they have to turn in their man card if they do such a deplorable thing. Dodgy

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16-08-2016, 04:35 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
(16-08-2016 04:34 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I have come across men who won't purchase feminine hygiene products for the women in their lives. Apparently they think they have to turn in their man card if they do such a deplorable thing. Dodgy

I would not call such a person a man.

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16-08-2016, 04:56 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
(16-08-2016 04:34 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I have come across men who won't purchase feminine hygiene products for the women in their lives. Apparently they think they have to turn in their man card if they do such a deplorable thing. Dodgy

I think you should turn in your man card if your male sensibilities are such that you can’t stomach buying feminine hygiene products.

Somehow I picture this guy as the same one who will happily walk into an adult store and buy an inflatable doll and a 12” dildo without batting an eye.

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16-08-2016, 05:00 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
I feel that I am very lucky with my mr. He has no issue buying me female products and he does not feel that his manliness is being threatened by it.

Dom btw? You are the age you could be my parent? I thought you are no more than 10 years older than me o.O

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16-08-2016, 05:05 PM
RE: periods vs "male privilege"
(16-08-2016 04:56 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  I think you should turn in your man card if your male sensibilities are such that you can’t stomach buying feminine hygiene products.
I think it is a matter of education and patience. I understand that many men grow up with this as a taboo topic. But if I care about my partner I will help them out. I can totally see myself saying this sentence to my bf or husband (not the current one because he has no issues) "It is just like toilet paper and we need it both in the bathroom and right now I have no time to go to the supermarket but I need it. Both the toilet paper and the tampons, so please go and buy it for me." And then I can show him my brand on the internet and tell him where is in the supermarket so he doesn't have to feel weird, idling in front of the shelves. Easy, no big deal?

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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