respect for/relating to religious believers
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14-06-2013, 12:17 PM
respect for/relating to religious believers
I have a really difficult time relating to and respecting people after learning they have any inclination toward religious belief or churchgoing. Even in cases where it's not relevant to our relationship, or where they're quite private about their religiosity. My sister recently decided to return to regular church attendance, for example, so she can give her children the same "experience' she had growing up. And though I otherwise enjoy her company and share many things in common with her, I have to admit that I see her differently now. It feels very childish on my part, very judgmental, but I can't help myself. I share the impulse toward gratitude, toward carving out some regular time to reflect on life, and toward recognizing the mystery in the world, but the moment someone fills those needs with god or an organized religion, I can't get past it. Would welcome others' thoughts on this, to know if that's similar to the way you respond to people -- and if so, if you try to be less judgmental about it.
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14-06-2013, 01:19 PM
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
(14-06-2013 12:17 PM)princess.flapjack Wrote:  I have a really difficult time relating to and respecting people after learning they have any inclination toward religious belief or churchgoing. Even in cases where it's not relevant to our relationship, or where they're quite private about their religiosity. My sister recently decided to return to regular church attendance, for example, so she can give her children the same "experience' she had growing up. And though I otherwise enjoy her company and share many things in common with her, I have to admit that I see her differently now. It feels very childish on my part, very judgmental, but I can't help myself. I share the impulse toward gratitude, toward carving out some regular time to reflect on life, and toward recognizing the mystery in the world, but the moment someone fills those needs with god or an organized religion, I can't get past it. Would welcome others' thoughts on this, to know if that's similar to the way you respond to people -- and if so, if you try to be less judgmental about it.

I have a friend that wears a crucifix sometimes. He says he's a christian, but otherwise he never talks of it. He doesn't push it into my face at any time.

You should think of it this way; respect their beliefs but urge them to keep the religious talk out your conversations. If they refuse, or try to convert you, cut contact with them untill they learn. If they persist or stalk you, tell them to fuck right off. If the people you talk of are the latter, you shouldn't have met them or talked to them in the first place.

When it comes to family business however, I have little useful advice. But surely others here are more capable to answer that.

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14-06-2013, 02:06 PM
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
(14-06-2013 12:17 PM)princess.flapjack Wrote:  I have a really difficult time relating to and respecting people after learning they have any inclination toward religious belief or churchgoing. Even in cases where it's not relevant to our relationship, or where they're quite private about their religiosity. My sister recently decided to return to regular church attendance, for example, so she can give her children the same "experience' she had growing up. And though I otherwise enjoy her company and share many things in common with her, I have to admit that I see her differently now. It feels very childish on my part, very judgmental, but I can't help myself. I share the impulse toward gratitude, toward carving out some regular time to reflect on life, and toward recognizing the mystery in the world, but the moment someone fills those needs with god or an organized religion, I can't get past it. Would welcome others' thoughts on this, to know if that's similar to the way you respond to people -- and if so, if you try to be less judgmental about it.

I have a niece who I love dearly, but I have lost some respect for her since she turned to Christianity.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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14-06-2013, 04:02 PM
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
with family and those near and dear to you, just keep reminding yourself that its a "part" of them and not "all" of them.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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14-06-2013, 04:31 PM
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
This is an interesting thought process for me that I haven't quite completed yet. I am somewhat recently deconverted, the only one in my family that I am aware of.

Do I respect my hardcore religious family less now that I don't believe?

Up until a short while ago I thought (maybe not exactly) like they did. So where does that put my self respect? A level higher now for sure, but can I really knock my family down for something that I subscribed to myself not too long ago? Consider

I am young in my journey, thoughts are all I have thus far. Hopefully in the future answers will come.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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14-06-2013, 05:23 PM (This post was last modified: 14-06-2013 05:29 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
(14-06-2013 12:17 PM)princess.flapjack Wrote:  I have a really difficult time relating to and respecting people after learning they have any inclination toward religious belief or churchgoing.

Nah, bah, I ain't got no problem with it. Just 'cause someone shows up to the party in a clown suit or underwear or banana boat don't mean I ain't got no respect out of hand and shit. .... I personally have learned a lot from both. Big Grin

(14-06-2013 02:06 PM)Chas Wrote:  I have a niece who I love dearly, but I have lost some respect for her since she turned to Christianity.

Shit diminishes you with zero impact on her. Why bother? Drinking Beverage

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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14-06-2013, 05:44 PM
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
I get turned off asap if they talk about god a lot.

I am generally drawn to skeptics. But I have some close friends who are religious. Long as they don't try to convert me or talk about it a lot, I am quite fine with it.

I have an elderly aunt who is very religious, and I am very tolerant of it with her. Church is a big part of her life, it's her social life. I don't begrudge her that, it's beneficial for her.

So it all depends... but I have wondered about my strong aversion to people I meet who praise the Lord constantly etc. All I want to do is walk away. I can't stand it.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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15-06-2013, 03:05 AM
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
Long as it's not in my face I don't mind. Lots of intelligent people have been and are Christians or other flavour of woo believer. Too many of them, can't despise them all, it's counterproductive. I try to limit my despising to quality rather than quantity these days Tongue
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15-06-2013, 08:51 PM
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
As others have said, you have to focus on the other things about the person, and not define them by their woo. If a person starts talking nonsense to you, you can tell them you're not into whatever nonsense and ask to change the subject.

I am tolerant of some elderly relatives of mine who are very religious, but I can't say I have very many religious friends. I can think of 2 off the top of my head, but they don't talk about it constantly and are well aware of where I stand on such things.
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15-06-2013, 08:57 PM
RE: respect for/relating to religious believers
I guess try to focus more on the common ground, instead of the things that divide.

Smile


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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