...seriously considering ending it?
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16-03-2011, 03:05 PM
...seriously considering ending it?
My mom has been a huge bitch to me lately. She does everything she can to try to make me feel bad. I am on the verge of tears as I write this. Nothing I do is good enough... its never enough. I try to meet her half way. I try just listening. But nothing is ever good enough. I am never her "model son" that she wanted. She treats my sisters better than me... I don't know what to do with life anymore...

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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16-03-2011, 03:45 PM
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
I'll tell you EXACTLY what to do with life.....KEEP LIVING IT!

You are frustrated, upset, and feeling like you are not as loved as you deserve. I'll tell you something: you have every right to feel that way. I hope you don't mind me sounding like an adult lecturing, but it really is hard being 15. It's an age where you are starting to think like an adult, and yet that thinking isn't quite adult yet. Plus your mom is realizing that you are your own person, instead of the person she wants to turn you into.
So here's the good news. First: it will pass. Things will get better as you and your mom get to know each other again. You'll learn how to disagree on things without having to fight about it. Just give her time, and give yourself time.
Second: It may not feel like it now, but what's happening is a good thing! It shows you are learning to think for yourself and be independent. That's a huge step to becoming an adult, and coping with the way you're feeling now is part of that step. The best decision you can make, for you AND your family, is to make the choice to cope instead of not cope. By coping you will suffer through this hard time, and come out the other end a better and happier person. By not coping, you will either leave your family with a void they can never fill, or just clam up and never grow.
I know you will choose to cope. How? Because you've already shown me that you are learning to think. You made a choice to take a humble, and not-so-easy route, by changing a thought process. THAT is coping. Now take that experience, and apply it here. Because THIS situation is where it really matters.

Stick around bud. We may be a hard group to get along with sometimes, and we don't sugar coat things, but we want you here. Your family and friends in "the real world" feel the same way.

I guarantee it.

Remember that your mom doesn't love you less. She is just struggling with this new person that her son is becoming. You've always been her boy. Now you're on your way to being a man, and that's foreign and scary for her. Stick with it (and us) and do what you know is right.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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16-03-2011, 04:04 PM
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
These seem like very strong words, and you may be right, but I just don't know. My mom has said things like:

"your birthday slipped my mind" (my b-day was a month ago I am 16 now btw)
"I am going to take everything out of your room" (as punishment for not doing the dishes)

My aunt... my aunt is violent. She is constantly threatening to beat me if I don't comply instantly...

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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16-03-2011, 04:15 PM
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
Well I guess you're screwed then. Your only option now is to wait and see if I'm right! LOL

Seriously though, parents can be horrible. Trust me. I have a 14 year old daughter, and the stories she'd tell you man. It sounds like your not living in the most peaceful home. I mean it when I say, I'm not trying to make it like you are not going through something bad. I just want to help you see that ending it just isn't the solution. It's not a solution at all.

Do you have anyone you trust that you can talk to about this?

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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16-03-2011, 04:15 PM
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
latvian, don't do anything stupid. If you're depressed, and seriously considering this, go talk to someone. Anyone. I don't care who, but get off the computer and go talk to someone in real life.

Call the suicide hotline. Phone a friend. Hell, go to the school counselor. Just don't, don't, don't, go through with it. This life is all you've got. Don't waste it because you live in a crappy situation. Things will get better eventually. It might be a long time from now, but they will.

But a forum is not the place to go for support. As much as we all care about each other, and as much as I wish I could actually help you, talking to us is nothing more than reading text on a computer screen. There's only so much we can do from the other side of the internet.

I'm not trying to snub you here. We'll give you as much support as we can. That's what we're here for. We're a community, and even if we're only internet friends, we're all friends. But hanging out here isn't what you need right now.

Call up a friend and talk to them. I wish we could help more, but you need someone that you can actually speak to right now.

Hang in there, man.

"Owl," said Rabbit shortly, "you and I have brains. The others have fluff. If there is any thinking to be done in this Forest - and when I say thinking I mean thinking - you and I must do it."
- A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
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16-03-2011, 04:17 PM
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
I have a friend that I've spoken to about this, yes. And yes, I do feel more against committing suicide once I've spoken to someone about this... but I cannot live in this household anymore... I have to get out of here, as soon as possible.....

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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16-03-2011, 04:18 PM (This post was last modified: 16-03-2011 04:52 PM by 13mentaculus.)
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
I can empathize with life sucking, but I've never been suicidal.
hang in there. Big Grin
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16-03-2011, 04:22 PM
 
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
(16-03-2011 03:05 PM)latvianxave8 Wrote:  My mom has been a huge bitch to me lately. She does everything she can to try to make me feel bad. I am on the verge of tears as I write this. Nothing I do is good enough... its never enough. I try to meet her half way. I try just listening. But nothing is ever good enough. I am never her "model son" that she wanted. She treats my sisters better than me... I don't know what to do with life anymore...

It's your life. And you have every right to take it.
However, suicide is a permanent solution to a finite problem. And once you commit, there's no going back. If you can die to get out, you can strive to hang in.

Why not tell your mom exactly how her behavior makes you feel?

If she raised you well with all that she had to work with, then you are the product of that effort. If she finds things about you to bitch about, making you feel bad, it's what she see's as her failure in parenting. That's not your responsibility. You're who you are, regardless of her failure or her success. You grow from the foundation she installed and find your own way to be your own person.
If she doesn't like that, because she doesn't see in you a carbon copy of herself, that's not your issue.
It's hers!

There's an old saying that goes, no one can make you fee inferior without your permission.

Simply revoke your permission to let her succeed in making you feel bad for who you are. You're that person regardless, and it's not her that has to live it. You do. And if you can live with yourself, if you love yourself, if you see yourself as better than that person she see's you to be and finds so many faults with, then that's what matters.

I knew a woman that would strive to bring someone else pain, when she berated them day in and day out. She fed on that like it was literally food on a plate.
One day I stepped to her and told her she was officially going to starve to death, because what she saw as those things she felt entitled to bitch about with regard to my personal self, were things that were none of her business. But that she made it her business, that my being who I was quite to the contrary of her approval, gave me power over her.

Because when she saw me, instantly all those things she felt inspired to bitch about came to mind. And in that instant, those things, and me, changed her whole attitude and outlook on the day.

So remember, when your mom bitches about all those things she attacks about you taking away her personal power. Now she's letting your issues rule her state of mind. And in the process, she's blaming you for it. For that choice she makes to instead of seeing you as her loving child who she could spend just as much time praising and getting along with, she chooses instead to do the exact opposite.

That says everything about her and what she thrives on. Which is chaos.
You don't have to let yourself be affected by that, and feed her what she needs so as to continue to treat you that way.

Life is choice. Mom or no, you have every right to be free of verbal and emotional abuse.
I know that.

Do you?
(HUGS) I wish you strength.
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16-03-2011, 04:25 PM
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
I wish I could explain it like that to her... I tried to tell that when we talk we should have an actual conversion, not sure her telling me to do/say/act this this and that...

but all she does is ignore me. always. "Don't question me"

"I am your mother I can do whatever I want"

"When someone tells you to do something you JUST DO IT"

Fight the system,

~~~but don't mute the opposition!~~~
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16-03-2011, 04:33 PM
 
RE: ...seriously considering ending it?
(16-03-2011 04:25 PM)latvianxave8 Wrote:  I wish I could explain it like that to her... I tried to tell that when we talk we should have an actual conversion, not sure her telling me to do/say/act this this and that...

but all she does is ignore me. always. "Don't question me"

"I am your mother I can do whatever I want"

"When someone tells you to do something you JUST DO IT"

I've got some comebacks to those. See what you think.

"Don't question me" (But then mom, how will I ever learn from your example and wisdom?)

"I am your mother I can do whatever I want" (Does that include ignoring me, and verbally and emotionally abusing me?)

"When someone tells you to do something you JUST DO IT" (Does that rule apply when they tell me to jump off a bridge? )
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