so my dad knows i gave up god.
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23-08-2016, 02:31 AM
RE: so my dad knows i gave up god.
(23-08-2016 02:17 AM)SYZ Wrote:  It really angers me when I see this sort of divisiveness in families brought about solely by religion, or a lack thereof.

Religion is supposed to be all about peace and happiness, love and harmony etc. But all too often it's the catalyst for intolerance and distrust, hatred and aggression.

Your dad says, "OK so what science has proven that we evolved from tadpoles. They say evolution is real. But they have NO evidence of the transition that comes from evolution. No fossil that shows one thing evolving into another".

My bolding shows his errors of fact. Homo sapiens did not "evolve" from tadpoles. The great apes and humans prove an evolutionary process. And something of a specific taxonomy never evolves [sic] into another, such as an emu into a kangaroo, which explains why we never find this sort of transitional fossil.

well let me just say that my dad isnt the bad guy here. its my brother. my dad was just stating whatever it is that he thinks he knows.. meanwhile my brother was downing me for my lack of belief. because apparently.. you know.. you arent allowed to think for yourself.
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23-08-2016, 04:06 AM
RE: so my dad knows i gave up god.
Quote:Religion is supposed to be all about peace and happiness, love and harmony etc. But all too often it's the catalyst for intolerance and distrust, hatred and aggression.

Religion has caused more death, destruction, bigotry, hatred, murder, torture, and war than any other force in human history. Why would this be a surprise? Religious people are the least tolerant on earth, any history book will quickly make that clear.

I'm constantly baffled when people seem caught unaware by this behavior...it goes back to the beginning of civilization. Just like jewel's brother...you don't believe what I believe so I'll throw you to the lions.

It's an old and tired story, but if there is a solution, I don't know what it is. I just avoid people who believe in mystical beings who grant their wishes, myself. It's not that easy for everyone, unfortunately.

Good luck, Jewel. Rocket's advice is solid, but if your dad won't even meet you in the middle...Dodgy
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23-08-2016, 04:12 AM
RE: so my dad knows i gave up god.
Quote:well let me just say that my dad isnt the bad guy here. its my brother. my dad was just stating whatever it is that he thinks he knows.. meanwhile my brother was downing me for my lack of belief. because apparently.. you know.. you arent allowed to think for yourself.

I hear you, but...your dad is your dad, he should be older and wiser, and he should have your back. I have 3 grown children, a son and two daughters. If my son treated one of my daughters that way in front of me, he would spend several minutes picking himself up off the floor. It might require a mop, depending on what he said, exactly.
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23-08-2016, 09:03 AM
RE: so my dad knows i gave up god.
It sad that it had to come out this way. "The big reveal" should be on the party that holds the position.

If I were to give you advice. Write a heart felt letter. Not email, not text. Pen to paper. You are trying to nurse a wound. This is your father and to this point I imagine that he's been a good one. Heck he opens in home to his son and GF rent free. Wish my parents did that.

Be sincere, and don't mince words.

Include memories that he may hold dear from your past. We're going for emotional tear jerkers. Maybe when he taught you to ride a bike or when you hurt yourself and he came to help. Try to make a connection on how you learned like example with the bike story.

I remember when you let me go on the bike how scared I was. That I was almost certain I would fall. But you kept believing in me. You trusted that I was capable on doing it on my own. I would like that moment to return on this. You gave me the push, now trust that I am riding this bike correctly.

Explain that this is not how you wanted him to find out. That you wanted to tell him on your terms, but he's so intimidating you couldn't sum up the courage. Explain that you're better person because of the father he's been, and that the reason you are the way you are is because he raised you to be smart, strong, and understanding. Sign it a pet name he may call you. "Your lil girl." "Princess" The goal is to remove the current bad memory.

Don't make it a letter of revenge on your brother. That will not play in your favor. When emotions run high you need to keep your cool. If tempers flare. remain calm. Say we are both very emotional at this time but I would like to talk to you about this. Lets take some time to calm down and come back. I feel this is a conversation we need to have. It's hard but it's a method I've found to work.

This are only suggestions. Do what you feel is right. Keep us posted.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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23-08-2016, 03:04 PM
RE: so my dad knows i gave up god.
Sorry to hear that you got outted that way. Your brother deserves a swift kick to the nuts. The type that will leave him with two bumps on the top of his skull.

It's good to hear that your dad is taking it relatively well. You'll need to sit down with him sometime and have a chat about what's actually happened. Possibly while your brother is recovering in hospital and regaining the ability to speak in a pitch audible to humans.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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23-08-2016, 04:57 PM
RE: so my dad knows i gave up god.
Wow your brother certainly lacks some basic respect for a fellow human being, that's for sure.
I am sorry this happened to you.
Like I am not in good terms with one of my brothers either but I doubt he would ever do such a thing. We'd rather not speak for years than do something so nasty to each other.

Do you think you can catch your dad for a normal talk man to man. Just to bring up that you didn't want it to come out as badly as it did with your brother etc etc. And just give him the peaceful approach of, "I wanted to talk to you about this blablubb" with lots of respect and so on. Like just go fishing or something with him and without your brother (I can't even...) or something like that. Neutral place, neutral activity, and so on.

I do get why the first thing they ask is about evolution. It is the absolute base of the Christian belief system. God made the earth and everything else. The only other thing that they are aware of is science approach of evolution. If evolution is true, the base of their religion crumbles and falls. Therefore God did it and we can be happy puppies. Easy.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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23-08-2016, 06:29 PM
RE: so my dad knows i gave up god.
Thanks you guys.
I think I'm going to just let it chill for now though. It seems like a good idea to talk to my dad about it but at the same time we weren't raised to be personal.
I did try to call my dad today to see if he wanted help still with cleaning his room. He just started in on what happened Sunday.
At the same time I know he's worried. He has a doctors appointment Monday to make sure he doesn't have a serious health issue. For now I'm going to let things blow over. Monday after his appointment I'll be going to his house and help him clean up. I told him I don't want to keep revisiting the fight from Sunday.
Honestly I don't think he's so upset about my beliefs as he is the argument everyone had. My brother is the only one with hateful things to say about it.
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23-08-2016, 06:50 PM
RE: so my dad knows i gave up god.
Another thing that you might consider is to make sure that when you do get a chance to cover this, is to set a ground rule that when someone says something, that it is "I", not "You" that is used. If someone says "You...whatever", it can be perceived as an attack. The idea is to keep the other person from getting defensive. I wish I had known about this about 50 years ago- I'd have better teeth. Though I must admit that not having said "Fuck" before "you" would probably have helped quite a bit. Confused
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