so now what?
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16-03-2016, 09:50 PM
so now what?
beginning this journey to find a truth started hard.. got easy.. and is now hard again.
since joining here i have felt it easy to let go of my beliefs in a way. easier than searching things on google.
but now. i feel alone. since i started pushing god away who do i pray to??
some would say talk to friends.. i dont have friends.. well i have one and,
i live with my only "friend" i guess but thats the trouble. its my boyfriend and things are looking rough.
his only answer is "i dont know" "i dont know if this can be fixed."
if i talk to my sisters, i dont really get responses.

so now.. without religion.. kinda.. i still hold to some things i have not fully let go.. but i feel different.
is it normal? is this expected?

goodbye anxiety and hello sadness.
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16-03-2016, 10:01 PM
RE: so now what?
Hug You'll find friends here. You can talk to us anytime.

Leaving religion is a process and it does not happen over night. Your brain needs a chance to acclimate. But it will happen.
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16-03-2016, 10:04 PM
RE: so now what?
(16-03-2016 10:01 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Hug You'll find friends here. You can talk to us anytime.

Leaving religion is a process and it does not happen over night. Your brain needs a chance to acclimate. But it will happen.

thank you! it really is harder than i thought.. even though i dont know exactly which way im going.
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16-03-2016, 10:07 PM
RE: so now what?
(16-03-2016 10:04 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  
(16-03-2016 10:01 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Hug You'll find friends here. You can talk to us anytime.

Leaving religion is a process and it does not happen over night. Your brain needs a chance to acclimate. But it will happen.

thank you! it really is harder than i thought.. even though i dont know exactly which way im going.

It was hard for me too and for many in here. That's why educating yourself on the Bible and talking to like-minded people is so important. It's a process though--it took me like 2-3 years to finally kick religion's ass out the door. You'll figure everything out in your own time. Just breathe and don't put a ton of pressure on yourself to figure everything out tonight.
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16-03-2016, 10:17 PM
RE: so now what?
(16-03-2016 10:07 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(16-03-2016 10:04 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  thank you! it really is harder than i thought.. even though i dont know exactly which way im going.

It was hard for me too and for many in here. That's why educating yourself on the Bible and talking to like-minded people is so important. It's a process though--it took me like 2-3 years to finally kick religion's ass out the door. You'll figure everything out in your own time. Just breathe and don't put a ton of pressure on yourself to figure everything out tonight.

no i dont plan on doing that. i mean the studying and what not yes. im actually excited to grab some of the books. but now that an issue has come up and i have figured prayer is a bit.. empty. it just got a little harder lol
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16-03-2016, 10:21 PM
RE: so now what?
(16-03-2016 10:17 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  
(16-03-2016 10:07 PM)jennybee Wrote:  It was hard for me too and for many in here. That's why educating yourself on the Bible and talking to like-minded people is so important. It's a process though--it took me like 2-3 years to finally kick religion's ass out the door. You'll figure everything out in your own time. Just breathe and don't put a ton of pressure on yourself to figure everything out tonight.

no i dont plan on doing that. i mean the studying and what not yes. im actually excited to grab some of the books. but now that an issue has come up and i have figured prayer is a bit.. empty. it just got a little harder lol

There are a lot of fun threads on here--why not let some of this anxiety go for a bit. Sometimes overthinking things can create more anxiety while you're trying to figure things out. Give yourself time off from all of that (wondering what to do etc.) until you are able to get your books.
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16-03-2016, 10:25 PM
RE: so now what?
Please don't kick yourself for the amount of time that you have invested in the belief. I had a hard time with that, and still do. When I truly realized that I didn't believe in a god, I just sat there, trying to figure out how I was going to tell my family and friends that this thing they held so dear was a complete fabrication. I had this realization in 2005. I still haven't told some of my family. I have two sons who are open atheists, but in my age group (I'm 63, and in the US of A), it is still stigmatic. This is one of the best sites that I have found for working through what you think and feel. I've been to some that were so toxic you wouldn't believe it. For the record, I won't be naming them, but you won't see someone with the handle "Fireball" there. If you do, it isn't me. I only use this handle here and at AF.org. I have many alter egos. Tongue Good luck with your transition!
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16-03-2016, 10:28 PM
RE: so now what?
Quote:but now. i feel alone. since i started pushing god away who do i pray to??

Stop praying. You're just talking to yourself anyway.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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16-03-2016, 11:31 PM
RE: so now what?
(16-03-2016 10:28 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  
Quote:but now. i feel alone. since i started pushing god away who do i pray to??

Stop praying. You're just talking to yourself anyway.

I rarely disagree with Min but when I do... Big Grin

Nothing wrong with talking to yourself ... it's a kind of meditation; a conscious sleep; a chance to collect, analyse and categorise / compartmentalise your thoughts and feelings.

For my atheist-Buddhist buddies, that's what they are doing when they go to temple.

Try to maintain the horizontal and ditch the vertical ...

... meaning that the functional / social aspects of religion can still be useful until you find secular replacements but the hierarchical (authoritarian) aspects should go

... that's how you take back control.

Thumbsup

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17-03-2016, 12:54 AM
RE: so now what?
(16-03-2016 09:50 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  beginning this journey to find a truth started hard.. got easy.. and is now hard again.
since joining here i have felt it easy to let go of my beliefs in a way. easier than searching things on google.
but now. i feel alone. since i started pushing god away who do i pray to??
some would say talk to friends.. i dont have friends.. well i have one and,
i live with my only "friend" i guess but thats the trouble. its my boyfriend and things are looking rough.
his only answer is "i dont know" "i dont know if this can be fixed."
if i talk to my sisters, i dont really get responses.

so now.. without religion.. kinda.. i still hold to some things i have not fully let go.. but i feel different.
is it normal? is this expected?

goodbye anxiety and hello sadness.

I think that many people can learn from this and I'm not having a pop at OP but before making a major change in your life, make a plan. This was something that started to be recognised in the 80s when the divorce rate began to increase here in the UK. Women, especially, who were thinking seriously about divorce, were being advised by 'agony aunts' to develop their own circle of friends, outside of the marriage, before divorcing their husbands. This was because, come the divorce, they will lose a large proportion of their circle of friends because they will take the 'wounded' party's side. It's the same with religion. Before leaving your religion/church, develop a secular group of friends before you leave because you may well need them after you split from your church. This way, you will have a group of friends appropriate to your new life and not a group of friends who will be anxious to have you part of the fold once more and back in your old life.

Your new group of secular friends will help you adjust to your new life and will make you aware of what you have been missing and highlight the stupidity of religtardology.

However, you aren't there - but you could be. There must be groups on the net and in your area that offer support to people who are thinking about or have left the faith. Talk to them. They will understand you best. There's also books that you could read. DLJ seems to know about a few. Best talk to him on that score.

I wish you well but you have already made a wise choice by rejecting the biggest lie in the history of Man - god. Do not go back.

Marburg virus, Ebola, Rabies, HIV, Smallpox, Hantavirus, Dengue Fever all brought to you by god - who cares for us and loves us all Censored
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