[split] Conflicted
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16-03-2014, 04:55 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
Personally, I read Stevil's post as a commentary on why our sexuality should need to be defined, which I agree with. It'd be nice if one day it just didn't matter, and we didn't need to "come out" as any type of sexuality. I can see why it may not have been appropriate for the support section, but I didn't read it as him trying to start a debate. Meh, just my two cents Confused

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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16-03-2014, 05:05 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 04:54 PM)Stevil Wrote:  The need to come out is very pertinent to the original OP and my personal understanding of the issue.

I found it an interesting topic and wanted to understand it better, given where I come from as a starting place.

Exactly, it is pertinent to the OP. That's why your comment came off as it did, even if you didn't intend it to. You could have phrased your post better.

(16-03-2014 04:55 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  Personally, I read Stevil's post as a commentary on why our sexuality should need to be defined, which I agree with. It'd be nice if one day it just didn't matter, and we didn't need to "come out" as any type of sexuality. I can see why it may not have been appropriate for the support section, but I didn't read it as him trying to start a debate. Meh, just my two cents Confused

Maybe he didn't intend to start a "debate", but a discussion on whether or not it matters to come out to the public doesn't need to be in a thread in the PIAS section, it needs to be a discussion on it's own.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

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16-03-2014, 05:05 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 04:55 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  Personally, I read Stevil's post as a commentary on why our sexuality should need to be defined, which I agree with. It'd be nice if one day it just didn't matter, and we didn't need to "come out" as any type of sexuality. I can see why it may not have been appropriate for the support section, but I didn't read it as him trying to start a debate. Meh, just my two cents Confused

That's why I left it in the thread. It should be who gives a shit.

But it's not -- and it will likely be a long time before it is sadly. And to leave his after comments there would have just caused a further derail and debate. Which isn't the place for that.


Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines. Breathe; Pink Floyd

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16-03-2014, 05:06 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 04:55 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  Personally, I read Stevil's post as a commentary on why our sexuality should need to be defined, which I agree with. It'd be nice if one day it just didn't matter, and we didn't need to "come out" as any type of sexuality. I can see why it may not have been appropriate for the support section, but I didn't read it as him trying to start a debate. Meh, just my two cents Confused

It shouldn't matter or require definition, but, because of those who insist on definitions it does. The only way to change this is to challenge definitions and those who make them. That can't be done from inside a closet.

You can lead a theist to reason, but, you cannot make him think.
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16-03-2014, 05:12 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 05:05 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And to leave his after comments there would have just caused a further derail and debate. Which isn't the place for that.
My after comments wre a direct response to your aggressive, confrontational post to me. Which was uncalled for in any thread let alone in that forum section.

Without your post there would have been no issue, no drama!
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16-03-2014, 05:12 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 04:54 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(16-03-2014 04:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Because all that was pretty damn clear in the op by earmuffs.

You are the one who wanted to make it about 'i don't need to come out about being straight why should you'. In other areas of the forum it's ok. Just not there. If you can't be supportive then it's best not to comment in that forum.

It's not like I'm the only one who noticed it.
That's bullshit!

It was not my intent to debate, or to tell Earmuffs that he is wrong.

I can only relate to my own experiences. I did not have any need to come out. And that leads me to ask the question why should any gays have the need to come out.

The need to come out is very pertinent to the original OP and my personal understanding of the issue.

I found it an interesting topic and wanted to understand it better, given where I come from as a starting place.

In my way I think it is supportive to say "I didn't need to proclaim my sexuality so why should you?"

I don't feel that there is any social requirement for gays to come out.
It's up to each individual regarding what they want to do.

when he said "I guess I'm conflicted though because I think by not coming out I guess I'm letting them win."
Well, I don't think anyone has to come out about anything. No-one has to proclaim or justify themselves or their sexuality to anyone else.

And your missing the point all this discussion is fine here. I welcome it. But in the personal issues section it seems callous.

Because coming out as gay, is nothing at all like being straight. You could have easily started another thread to discuss that issue, elsewhere.

I know people that would almost rather hear just about anything than their child is gay. Yeah that's sad.

It's a support section. I don't know how else I can explain it.


Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines. Breathe; Pink Floyd

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16-03-2014, 05:16 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 05:12 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(16-03-2014 04:54 PM)Stevil Wrote:  That's bullshit!

It was not my intent to debate, or to tell Earmuffs that he is wrong.

I can only relate to my own experiences. I did not have any need to come out. And that leads me to ask the question why should any gays have the need to come out.

The need to come out is very pertinent to the original OP and my personal understanding of the issue.

I found it an interesting topic and wanted to understand it better, given where I come from as a starting place.

In my way I think it is supportive to say "I didn't need to proclaim my sexuality so why should you?"

I don't feel that there is any social requirement for gays to come out.
It's up to each individual regarding what they want to do.

when he said "I guess I'm conflicted though because I think by not coming out I guess I'm letting them win."
Well, I don't think anyone has to come out about anything. No-one has to proclaim or justify themselves or their sexuality to anyone else.

And your missing the point all this discussion is fine here. I welcome it. But in the personal issues section it seems callous.

Because coming out as gay, is nothing at all like being straight. You could have easily started another thread to discuss that issue, elsewhere.

I know people that would almost rather hear just about anything than their child is gay. Yeah that's sad.

It's a support section. I don't know how else I can explain it.

Moms... I Heart U
But, perhaps, telling someone to "go away Angry " doesn't belong in the support section, either... even if the recipient of that comment isn't the one asking for help in that particular thread.
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16-03-2014, 05:17 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 04:54 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(16-03-2014 04:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Because all that was pretty damn clear in the op by earmuffs.

You are the one who wanted to make it about 'i don't need to come out about being straight why should you'. In other areas of the forum it's ok. Just not there. If you can't be supportive then it's best not to comment in that forum.

It's not like I'm the only one who noticed it.
That's bullshit!

It was not my intent to debate, or to tell Earmuffs that he is wrong.

I can only relate to my own experiences. I did not have any need to come out. And that leads me to ask the question why should any gays have the need to come out.

The need to come out is very pertinent to the original OP and my personal understanding of the issue.

I found it an interesting topic and wanted to understand it better, given where I come from as a starting place.

In my way I think it is supportive to say "I didn't need to proclaim my sexuality so why should you?"

I don't feel that there is any social requirement for gays to come out.
It's up to each individual regarding what they want to do.

when he said "I guess I'm conflicted though because I think by not coming out I guess I'm letting them win."
Well, I don't think anyone has to come out about anything. No-one has to proclaim or justify themselves or their sexuality to anyone else.

Just let it go. Regardless of your intent, it read like a challenge - not supportive.

There are no negative consequences for you, and now you know more about that section, so just drop it.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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16-03-2014, 05:18 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 05:12 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And your missing the point all this discussion is fine here. I welcome it. But in the personal issues section it seems callous.
You're missing the point.
I never said anything callous.

(16-03-2014 05:12 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Because coming out as gay, is nothing at all like being straight.
I never said it was the same.

(16-03-2014 05:12 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  You could have easily started another thread to discuss that issue, elsewhere.
I was offering my support by stating that I don't think anyone needs to make an announcement about their sexuality. Gay, straight or otherwise.

(16-03-2014 05:12 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  It's a support section. I don't know how else I can explain it.
i wasn't criticising him, I wasn't saying anything callous, I wasn't debating him.
Can that be made more clear to you?!
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16-03-2014, 05:32 PM
RE: [split] Conflicted
(16-03-2014 05:17 PM)Chas Wrote:  Just let it go. Regardless of your intent, it read like a challenge - not supportive.

There are no negative consequences for you, and now you know more about that section, so just drop it.
I find myself forced into a corner here. Having to defend myself, my reputation (which is important to me).
Mom's was rude, made false assumptions and accusations, and I thought it was over the top and uncalled for.

It could have been dealt with much better than this.
Mom's could have approached me via PM and we could have clarified the intent behind my post. This public shaming is really uncalled for.
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