[split] What made you proud when you were a child?
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22-04-2017, 12:03 PM
[split] What made you proud when you were a child?
Did you let your parents dictate what you studied in college as an adult?
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22-04-2017, 12:17 PM
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
(22-04-2017 12:03 PM)ImFred Wrote:  Did you let your parents dictate what you studied in college as an adult?

At the time that I was graduating HS my parents said they would pay for me to attend a state college. I could not get any financial aid as dad made too much money for me to qualify. The plan was to go straight from under their roof to a dorm.

It's a long story but a month after graduation I was out on my ass with nothing but my clothes, two black eyes, most of the skin missing from my back, and a lot of hair missing, but still had to take into account dad's income for educational and living expenses.

They got their way...I didn't become a teacher.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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22-04-2017, 12:39 PM
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
(22-04-2017 12:17 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(22-04-2017 12:03 PM)ImFred Wrote:  Did you let your parents dictate what you studied in college as an adult?

At the time that I was graduating HS my parents said they would pay for me to attend a state college. I could not get any financial aid as dad made too much money for me to qualify. The plan was to go straight from under their roof to a dorm.

It's a long story but a month after graduation I was out on my ass with nothing but my clothes, two black eyes, most of the skin missing from my back, and a lot of hair missing, but still had to take into account dad's income for educational and living expenses.

They got their way...I didn't become a teacher.

Sounds like there is more to it than that. If your dad kicked your ass he was either already abusive, at least verbally, or he felt provoked. Neither of you should have fought over it though regardless of who thought they were right.

Lots of parents get raised by their parents that once you are out of school you are on your own. Older parents might not seem to understand cost of living has drastically changed. Was he feeling financially pinched at the time? Did you have a job at the time, because if you did, you could have at least help him pay the bills since you were living there.

And if you knew his attitude prior to going to school then why not at least, if you don't get a degree in your field had planned to have a room mate some where else or stay with a relative somewhere else?

Sounds to me like you were both wrong to some degree and didn't have clear communication skills otherwise it would not have ended up in a fight.

Disagreements over anything should never get physical, even if you yell at each other.

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22-04-2017, 12:46 PM
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
(22-04-2017 12:39 PM)Brian37 Wrote:  
(22-04-2017 12:17 PM)Anjele Wrote:  At the time that I was graduating HS my parents said they would pay for me to attend a state college. I could not get any financial aid as dad made too much money for me to qualify. The plan was to go straight from under their roof to a dorm.

It's a long story but a month after graduation I was out on my ass with nothing but my clothes, two black eyes, most of the skin missing from my back, and a lot of hair missing, but still had to take into account dad's income for educational and living expenses.

They got their way...I didn't become a teacher.

Sounds like there is more to it than that. If your dad kicked your ass he was either already abusive, at least verbally, or he felt provoked. Neither of you should have fought over it though regardless of who thought they were right.

Lots of parents get raised by their parents that once you are out of school you are on your own. Older parents might not seem to understand cost of living has drastically changed. Was he feeling financially pinched at the time? Did you have a job at the time, because if you did, you could have at least help him pay the bills since you were living there.

And if you knew his attitude prior to going to school then why not at least, if you don't get a degree in your field had planned to have a room mate some where else or stay with a relative somewhere else?

Sounds to me like you were both wrong to some degree and didn't have clear communication skills otherwise it would not have ended up in a fight.

Disagreements over anything should never get physical, even if you yell at each other.

Fuck you...you have no idea what my life was like.

That my nose was broken.

My cheek bones broken from being slammed into the steering wheel of a car.

That the mirror in mom and dad's room covered the hole in the wall made when dad slammed me into that wall.

I was beaten from as far back as I can remember. Not spanked...no, beaten with fists....kicked and slammed into walls and knocked unconscious.

Fuck you, just fuck you and Fred.

I spent years trying not to get killed.

You fuckers don't know a damn thing about the hell I went through.

Add to that mom taping our mouths shut...and how dad was her gun...she often pulled the trigger.

Back then there was no agency that stepped in to stop that shit.

Fuck you and anyone else who thinks it's my fault. Or that it was the fault of my siblings.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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22-04-2017, 12:58 PM
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
My apologies Leerob.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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22-04-2017, 12:58 PM (This post was last modified: 22-04-2017 01:03 PM by Brian37.)
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
(22-04-2017 12:46 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(22-04-2017 12:39 PM)Brian37 Wrote:  Sounds like there is more to it than that. If your dad kicked your ass he was either already abusive, at least verbally, or he felt provoked. Neither of you should have fought over it though regardless of who thought they were right.

Lots of parents get raised by their parents that once you are out of school you are on your own. Older parents might not seem to understand cost of living has drastically changed. Was he feeling financially pinched at the time? Did you have a job at the time, because if you did, you could have at least help him pay the bills since you were living there.

And if you knew his attitude prior to going to school then why not at least, if you don't get a degree in your field had planned to have a room mate some where else or stay with a relative somewhere else?

Sounds to me like you were both wrong to some degree and didn't have clear communication skills otherwise it would not have ended up in a fight.

Disagreements over anything should never get physical, even if you yell at each other.

Fuck you...you have no idea what my life was like.

That my nose was broken.

My cheek bones broken from being slammed into the steering wheel of a car.

That the mirror in mom and dad's room covered the hole in the wall made when dad slammed me into that wall.

I was beaten from as far back as I can remember. Not spanked...no, beaten with fists....kicked and slammed into walls and knocked unconscious.

Fuck you, just fuck you and Fred.

I spent years trying not to get killed.

You fuckers don't know a damn thing about the hell I went through.

Add to that mom taping our mouths shut...and how dad was her gun...she often pulled the trigger.

Back then there was no agency that stepped in to stop that shit.

Fuck you and anyone else who thinks it's my fault. Or that it was the fault of my siblings.

Nobody is judging you. I had an abusive father myself. I am sorry you got your nose broken, but if you knew he was a dick, and he threw the first swing, no that is not justified, but you could have planned ahead and gotten out of there before that happened. OR you could have called the police on him.

First off in most counties/cities if you have long term established living somewhere regardless of the owner, most laws say they cannot kick you out on the spot. He would have had to go to a court and have you legally evicted and that takes time and that would have given you time to make arrangements.

Now maybe if you hadn't left out the part where you got your nose broken I might have understood, but that is not what you put in the post I quoted. If he took the first swing, he was wrong PERIOD. And you said just now that he was abusive as fr back as you can remember, you also didn't mention that in your post. NOW it makes sense. His offer of money still does not give him the right to beat the shit out of you.

Nobody has the right to assault you. Whomever takes the first swing is wrong. If he broke your nose it sounds to me that was not the first time he hit you. In that case you should have left without saying a word at the first sign of him raising his voice. The abuser is always wrong. PERIOD, but if they are abusive you need to seek help from a professional, always have someone around you if you have to deal with them and get out with that friend before it gets worse.

You should have put the abusive part in that first post I quoted, then I would have understood.

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22-04-2017, 01:07 PM
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
(22-04-2017 12:58 PM)Brian37 Wrote:  
(22-04-2017 12:46 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Fuck you...you have no idea what my life was like.

That my nose was broken.

My cheek bones broken from being slammed into the steering wheel of a car.

That the mirror in mom and dad's room covered the hole in the wall made when dad slammed me into that wall.

I was beaten from as far back as I can remember. Not spanked...no, beaten with fists....kicked and slammed into walls and knocked unconscious.

Fuck you, just fuck you and Fred.

I spent years trying not to get killed.

You fuckers don't know a damn thing about the hell I went through.

Add to that mom taping our mouths shut...and how dad was her gun...she often pulled the trigger.

Back then there was no agency that stepped in to stop that shit.

Fuck you and anyone else who thinks it's my fault. Or that it was the fault of my siblings.

Nobody is judging you. I had an abusive father myself. I am sorry you got your nose broken, but if you knew he was a dick, and he threw the first swing, no that is not justified, but you could have planned ahead and gotten out of there before that happened. OR you could have called the police on him.

First off in most counties/cities if you have long term established living somewhere regardless of the owner, most laws say they cannot kick you out on the spot. He would have had to go to a court and have you legally evicted and that takes time and that would have given you time to make arrangements.

Now maybe if you hadn't left out the part where you got your nose broken I might have understood, but that is not what you put in the post I quoted. If he took the first swing, he was wrong PERIOD.

Nobody has the right to assault you. Whomever takes the first swing is wrong. If he broke your nose it sounds to me that was not the first time he hit you. In that case you should have left without saying a word at the first sign of him raising his voice. The abuser is always wrong. PERIOD, but if they are abusive you need to seek help from a professional, always have someone around you if you have to deal with them and get out with that friend before it gets worse.

The police chief in town was beating his own family. He actually saw me and asked if my boyfriend did it. When I told him it was dad he walked away.

Did you miss the part where I said there weren't agencies to tend to abused kids back then? A nun actually tried to step in when I was a junior and contacted the first agency in the state that was trying to do something. After they did nothing, I was beaten twice for everything...once for whatever infraction and again for 'calling that bearded son-of-a-bitch out from Dubuque'.

And where was I going to go?

When I graduated I was 17. Three days before my 18th birthday he beat me nearly to death...as soon as I was physically able, I left.

And yes, I worked all through high school.

I was 5'3" tall and about 100 pounds. He was over six feet and over 250 pounds...do you really think I took the first swing, ever? I worked hard to stay alive. I never knew what was going to bring about a beating.

You don't know what you are talking about.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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22-04-2017, 01:16 PM
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
Quote:Fuck you, just fuck you and Fred.

Just for the record I didn't say any of that you're partially culpable for your own abuse. I never blamed the victim. I asked why you didn't map out your own curriculum as an adult with no clue what the answer was. Anyone could guess it had something to do with money but I didn't say shit about your answer. I'm sorry you had it rough.
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22-04-2017, 02:26 PM
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
(22-04-2017 01:07 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(22-04-2017 12:58 PM)Brian37 Wrote:  Nobody is judging you. I had an abusive father myself. I am sorry you got your nose broken, but if you knew he was a dick, and he threw the first swing, no that is not justified, but you could have planned ahead and gotten out of there before that happened. OR you could have called the police on him.

First off in most counties/cities if you have long term established living somewhere regardless of the owner, most laws say they cannot kick you out on the spot. He would have had to go to a court and have you legally evicted and that takes time and that would have given you time to make arrangements.

Now maybe if you hadn't left out the part where you got your nose broken I might have understood, but that is not what you put in the post I quoted. If he took the first swing, he was wrong PERIOD.

Nobody has the right to assault you. Whomever takes the first swing is wrong. If he broke your nose it sounds to me that was not the first time he hit you. In that case you should have left without saying a word at the first sign of him raising his voice. The abuser is always wrong. PERIOD, but if they are abusive you need to seek help from a professional, always have someone around you if you have to deal with them and get out with that friend before it gets worse.

The police chief in town was beating his own family. He actually saw me and asked if my boyfriend did it. When I told him it was dad he walked away.

Did you miss the part where I said there weren't agencies to tend to abused kids back then? A nun actually tried to step in when I was a junior and contacted the first agency in the state that was trying to do something. After they did nothing, I was beaten twice for everything...once for whatever infraction and again for 'calling that bearded son-of-a-bitch out from Dubuque'.

And where was I going to go?

When I graduated I was 17. Three days before my 18th birthday he beat me nearly to death...as soon as I was physically able, I left.

And yes, I worked all through high school.

I was 5'3" tall and about 100 pounds. He was over six feet and over 250 pounds...do you really think I took the first swing, ever? I worked hard to stay alive. I never knew what was going to bring about a beating.

You don't know what you are talking about.

Not that post, in the FIRST POST I quoted, that must have not been the first post in the thread where you mentioned that. Dont assume what I have read, I was merely talking about the FIRST POST I quoted you that was the only post of yours I read.

But yea, I am 50 years old so I know, back when I was growing up if you saw someone beating their kid it was considered a family matter.

Now I DO know what that is like, my dad used to punch me when he didn't want to baby sit me. . My earliest memory was when when he punched me in the stomach for not wanting to play with the bigger kids when I came back and said they were being too rough on me. He died when I was 13. I never discussed it with my mom because our generation authoritarian view was the parent had the right to discipline the kid the way they saw fit. So neither of them saw it as abuse but "toughening" me up. I also grew up with nothing but bullies in my street. I got beat up many times, got my nose broken by those bullies too.

Your dad was an abusive fuck. Glad you got out of there. You did nothing wrong and you did what you had to to survive. It was that 1 post not all your posts, but that 1 post. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

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22-04-2017, 04:32 PM
RE: What made you proud when you were a child?
Anjele

You opening that thread in personal support accusing us of opening your wounds is complete cheap shot weaksauce bullshit. Use your victimhood to stab yourself all you want but using it to vilify and malign others completely out of context is pathetic.
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