the hypocrisy i see
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13-03-2017, 04:00 AM
the hypocrisy i see
ok so maybe this post should go somewhere else but this has been on my mind a lot lately
please note i am NOT singling out or bullying people for having ANY health condition but i will be referencing 2 different scenarios. i am also not blaming anyone for their health issues but i will need to argue one is more of the sufferer's fault than the other
so heres the basic issue. people with any mental health condition often get crap about it. they are accused of faking or viewed as weak. someone sufferring from an ED, particularly one that makes them underweight, often get treated as though their condition is their fault. i hear it all the time, "you shouldnt starve yourself because you'll damage..." or "you're such a bad person for not eating" and the like. honestly there are a myriad of things that play into such a complex issue. i never intentionally put myself at risk for such a thing or even anticipated it. nobody thinks "oh geez if x happens to me i could develop mental disorder y. might as well expose myself to x". developing a mental illness isnt a choice and people shouldnt be shamed for it or refused help.
on the other hand we have diseases such as lyme disease and other physical ailments that nobody is held accountable for. if i get lyme disease, nobody would hesitate to help me. id probably hear "you poor thing" from many people and treating my illness in this instance wouldnt be objectionable. but its far more my fault for getting lyme. im always out in areas where deer ticks lurk. in summer i have 3 or more on me a week. i dont wear repellent. its my responsibility to do thorough tick checks. no, i wouldnt intentionally put or leave a deer tick on me to be exposed but should i ever get lyme disease it should be noted that my own choices caused me to contract it. it isnt like bad childhood experiences i had no say in going through. i didnt HAVE to walk in tick-infested areas. i shouldve checked better...
why shame someone for a disease whose causes they couldnt control yet pity someone when their lifestyle causes a disease? if you get lung cancer from smoking you still get it treated. i really hate people sometimes
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13-03-2017, 04:07 AM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
Hang on, can you slow down a bit? I think I need some context.

I am going through a brain malfunction at present and the doctors don't understand as it's a result of certain experiments.

I must make arrangements myself to see a neurologist.

In my experience the field of medicine is too big for any one mind. So an oncologist can't comment on another disorder. So I will see a GP, get a referral and visit a Dr who specialises in brain function.

As for laypeople, I don't care what they think.

Is your situation in any way relatable to this?

I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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13-03-2017, 04:13 AM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
Is this a hypothetical, or did you need help with something?

If you just want to rant against assholes who hold mental illness to a different standard, go right ahead, but that can be done in the Health and Psychology section. Typically the Personal Issues and Support section is reserved for people to have a safe space to discuss their own personal issues. For example, many people come here to seek help with addiction or advice with relationship troubles, especially by those seeking to 'come out' as an open atheist in a setting that might cause significant backlash.

So if you need help, please be more specific, and we'll see what we can do. But if not, it'll probably be best for a Mod or Admin to move this to a more appropriate section of the forum.

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13-03-2017, 04:30 AM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
oh i do get crap for any mental issue i struggle with. it is annoying because when my asthma flares up or i get an infection of some sort nobody holds me accountable. however, the moment i become an anxious mess imor lose motivation or struggle with body image or calorie intake it turns into a huge deal where i get demonized. its so difficult to get help for these things too
conspiracy maybe??
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13-03-2017, 04:41 AM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
(13-03-2017 04:30 AM)seagull Wrote:  conspiracy maybe??

I don't think we need a conspiracy to explain people being insensitive pricks.

Hopeful someone else will have some advice for you, but I'm a 6ft 250lb man-child, so I'm not sure if I'd have anything useful to add.

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13-03-2017, 04:45 AM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
(13-03-2017 04:30 AM)seagull Wrote:  i get demonized.

Are you a demon??? GaspGaspOhmyBlink

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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13-03-2017, 04:45 AM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
(13-03-2017 04:30 AM)seagull Wrote:  oh i do get crap for any mental issue i struggle with. it is annoying because when my asthma flares up or i get an infection of some sort nobody holds me accountable. however, the moment i become an anxious mess imor lose motivation or struggle with body image or calorie intake it turns into a huge deal where i get demonized. its so difficult to get help for these things too
conspiracy maybe??

You're correct that food- and mood-related issues can tend to make people angry in a way that a physical illness doesn't. I suspect there are a couple of reasons for that. First, many people struggle with their own food/mood issues, too--even if to a lesser extent than you do. Sometimes what we get annoyed at in other people reflects what we struggle with ourselves. And second, non-professionals don't understand these issues very well or why calm-down-and-eat-a-sandwich isn't something you can do at this point.

What I'd suggest, if you aren't already doing so, is that you see a professional who can help you manage. Also the professional may provide you with language that will explain to your friends and family what's going on with you and how they can help.
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13-03-2017, 01:37 PM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
(13-03-2017 04:45 AM)Banjo Wrote:  
(13-03-2017 04:30 AM)seagull Wrote:  i get demonized.

Are you a demon??? GaspGaspOhmyBlink

Man I wish people demonizing me would turn me into a demon, that sounds fun!

In regard to the OP though, some people are right pricks. I don't give people a hard time, someone has an ED that makes them eat too little? GREAT I'm a fat ass more food for me. (I'm joking)

Specifically I dated a girl who had an ED she loved to try out various foods but would just eat a little on her plate, I never once commented other than to say "Hey can I try some of that?" she'd give me her plate and I'd finish it for her. I'm pretty sure she was really grateful to have someone not poke at her about it. We never really talked about it, it's her job to bring it up if she wants to, but I could tell she really was happy that someone accepted her and didn't want to change her. Someone held no judgments about her, just loved her company.

To my mind I think she kinda worried too much, so what she really needed was someone to accept her as she is. At least that's how I looked at it, I figure by accepting her she could feel more comfortable, worry less, and eventually maybe find the healing she needs. And if not its an issue between her and her medical staff to worry about. It's my job as someone who cares about her and loves her to care about her and love her. Not to change her. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I deal with things. I don't agree that kicking people when they are already hurting is somehow helping them. And I try not to give advice unless they ask for it.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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13-03-2017, 01:57 PM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
People demonize everything that looks extreme to them. Skinny and fat, reclusive and party person, tall or short, and so on.

Additionally they demonize everything that frightens them a little - like unusual behavior, unusual looks, other races, other religions...

It's a remaining instinct from primitive times when you feared violence when different types of people showed up in your village and when any diseases could turn up with new comers and decimate your population.

Unfortunately, people feel safest with others who are just like them. Fear and hate are intertwined.

Once people actually know and understand what makes you different, they tend to be ok and helpful.

We've come a long way in this and have a long way to go yet. People like trump aren't helping.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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13-03-2017, 02:13 PM
RE: the hypocrisy i see
There is still a lot of stigma around mental illnesses. Thankfully it's getting better- but so slowly. The only thing we can do is to keep educating people. The more people know about mental illnesses, the more people understand that you can't think your way out of it. But people who don't understand that are the ones that basically try to bully you into behaving according to their rules.

You don't choose to have a mental illness, it just happens.

As for Lyme disease, my step-dad has it. And it's fucking awful. They couldn't figure out what it was for so long, so the disease advanced pretty far. The pain he deals with is chronic. It's getting better, very very slowly, but it might never fully be cured. He has good days and bad days as a result of it. Ugh- please, wear some repellent! I wouldn't wish disease that on anyone.
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