troubles at home
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28-03-2016, 01:16 PM
RE: troubles at home
(28-03-2016 11:04 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  I didn't wake up angry but I woke up determined to straighten things out. I pulled the little one off the computer and made them help me clean the house. I said things need to change and he agrees but not in the same sense. He won't tell me what he means. I explained to his kid why I was stern with them and she understands. She said if she's not reminded to do something she'll forget and I get that I was the same. Her dad on the other hand seems a little ticked so I'm going to just let him do whatever for now.

Make sure you do eventually have a straightforward conversation about this stuff with him. Don't let him wait for it to blow over and forget about it, otherwise you'll find yourself condemned to skivvy-hood again.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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28-03-2016, 02:01 PM
RE: troubles at home
(28-03-2016 01:16 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(28-03-2016 11:04 AM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  I didn't wake up angry but I woke up determined to straighten things out. I pulled the little one off the computer and made them help me clean the house. I said things need to change and he agrees but not in the same sense. He won't tell me what he means. I explained to his kid why I was stern with them and she understands. She said if she's not reminded to do something she'll forget and I get that I was the same. Her dad on the other hand seems a little ticked so I'm going to just let him do whatever for now.

Make sure you do eventually have a straightforward conversation about this stuff with him. Don't let him wait for it to blow over and forget about it, otherwise you'll find yourself condemned to skivvy-hood again.

If chooses not to talk about it. Won't give answers. He's being pretty difficult.
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28-03-2016, 02:21 PM
RE: troubles at home
(28-03-2016 02:01 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  
(28-03-2016 01:16 PM)morondog Wrote:  Make sure you do eventually have a straightforward conversation about this stuff with him. Don't let him wait for it to blow over and forget about it, otherwise you'll find yourself condemned to skivvy-hood again.

If chooses not to talk about it. Won't give answers. He's being pretty difficult.

My Dad does the same. It used to drive me wild when I lived at home. Anything that he doesn't want to change, he just ignores and gets unreasonably angry if anyone brings it up. He makes it clear that as long as he's not challenged on that particular topic life can continue fine, but he will absolutely be a total shit about it if one brings it up. What it means is that he makes discussing it too much effort, and it's easier just to acquiesce, which is exactly what he wants. Even if the situation is unfair to the other person, he makes it difficult to change it by using this tactic.

I don't know how far your boyfriend follows this model - I may have read it totally wrong - but if he is playing that game you will need to confront him and it will be hard to do. Other than that, you can also just live with the situation as it is...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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28-03-2016, 02:26 PM
RE: troubles at home
(27-03-2016 06:43 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  i dont consider this a sensitive issue but ill put it here anyway. its more of a rant.
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It was created as a safe-zone which is actively moderated to ensure that community members can feel protected from aggressive or insensitive responses.

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28-03-2016, 02:31 PM
RE: troubles at home
(28-03-2016 02:26 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(27-03-2016 06:43 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  i dont consider this a sensitive issue but ill put it here anyway. its more of a rant.
...

For future reference and as a guide for our newer members in general, this section is reserved for sensitive issues.

It was created as a safe-zone which is actively moderated to ensure that community members can feel protected from aggressive or insensitive responses.

Please think carefully before posting here as to whether you are in need of that level of moderation.

Thank you.

Our mods take their jobs vewwy vewwy sewiously. Tank yoo mods Smile

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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28-03-2016, 03:19 PM
RE: troubles at home
(28-03-2016 02:31 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(28-03-2016 02:26 PM)DLJ Wrote:  For future reference and as a guide for our newer members in general, this section is reserved for sensitive issues.

It was created as a safe-zone which is actively moderated to ensure that community members can feel protected from aggressive or insensitive responses.

Please think carefully before posting here as to whether you are in need of that level of moderation.

Thank you.

Our mods take their jobs vewwy vewwy sewiously. Tank yoo mods Smile

That's a good thing!
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28-03-2016, 03:23 PM
RE: troubles at home
(28-03-2016 02:21 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(28-03-2016 02:01 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  If chooses not to talk about it. Won't give answers. He's being pretty difficult.

My Dad does the same. It used to drive me wild when I lived at home. Anything that he doesn't want to change, he just ignores and gets unreasonably angry if anyone brings it up. He makes it clear that as long as he's not challenged on that particular topic life can continue fine, but he will absolutely be a total shit about it if one brings it up. What it means is that he makes discussing it too much effort, and it's easier just to acquiesce, which is exactly what he wants. Even if the situation is unfair to the other person, he makes it difficult to change it by using this tactic.

I don't know how far your boyfriend follows this model - I may have read it totally wrong - but if he is playing that game you will need to confront him and it will be hard to do. Other than that, you can also just live with the situation as it is...

Seems about the same. I told him he was being rude for not answering my questions and he just decides that it's up to me to answer them myself. It just goes in circles. I left the house for a bit to visit my mom.. It's tiring dealing with it.
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29-03-2016, 12:08 AM
RE: troubles at home
(28-03-2016 03:23 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  Seems about the same. I told him he was being rude for not answering my questions and he just decides that it's up to me to answer them myself. It just goes in circles. I left the house for a bit to visit my mom.. It's tiring dealing with it.

... Which makes it so much easier just to roll your eyes and carry on picking up after the kids and getting disliked by them for occasionally trying to make *them* do their chores...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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