what prompted me to join the forum
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10-11-2015, 05:43 PM
what prompted me to join the forum
Greetings - my name is J**. I came across this site when I googled a topic that lead me to an article here. I made a comment to it. I decided to join the forum because I need an answer to a question. I am 49 & my doctor told me back in January that I have a yr to live. I am virtually all alone & do not believe in an afterlife. I struggle with dealing, especially with the finality of it. What are your views on death, life purpose [I am childless], etc. If there is a forum topic on this, please direct me - the amount of topics are overwhelming. Thnx, J.
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10-11-2015, 07:20 PM
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
(10-11-2015 05:43 PM)I need new swear words g@d@m1t Wrote:  Greetings - my name is J**. I came across this site when I googled a topic that lead me to an article here. I made a comment to it. I decided to join the forum because I need an answer to a question. I am 49 & my doctor told me back in January that I have a yr to live. I am virtually all alone & do not believe in an afterlife. I struggle with dealing, especially with the finality of it. What are your views on death, life purpose [I am childless], etc. If there is a forum topic on this, please direct me - the amount of topics are overwhelming. Thnx, J.

Welcome to TTA. I suggest you post this in "Personal Issues and Support" so that the thread stays constructive and on track.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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10-11-2015, 07:33 PM
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
What Chas said. maybe it could get moved?
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10-11-2015, 07:40 PM
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
Hug and Welcome to TTA.

My view on the purpose of life is that we make our own purpose and hopefully that purpose will be for the good of ourselves, for others, for animals, and for the earth. I don't believe you have to have children to have purpose.

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now, but I'm glad you found TTA and I hope we can be a source of support for you Heart
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10-11-2015, 08:03 PM
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
Welcome to the forum SwearWords. I moved your thread to this section so that, as mentioned, it stays on track and receives the attention it deserves. This way it's a comfortable place for you to talk with us about coming to terms with death (sorry about that bit by the way).

Also, knowing you have only a short time left, that must give you a very unique perspective. One that I'm glad to have the chance to get a glimpse of. So not only welcome, but thanks for being here.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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10-11-2015, 08:46 PM
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
Well, Kimmy taught me *Jesus H. Fucking Christ*.

That's a good one. Big Grin

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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10-11-2015, 08:46 PM
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
Hey J,

My view on life is to just do whatever makes you happy while abiding by the silver rule (One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated). Having a year to live left would be something very different though. I would still do the above, but much of my lifestyle right now is focusing on frugality and saving. I suppose *limiter* would be removed and I would just do the things that I want to do regardless of cost (assuming it is within my means). For instance one reason I haven't visited japan is because I don't want to drop $2-$5000 bucks and take 2 weeks off work. But you know it would be better now than NEVER.

I imagine I would have a lot of similar items. Not exactly a bucket list...more like what a non-inhibited version of myself would want to do.

I can tell you one thing...I definitely wouldn't work if I knew (for a fact) that I only had one year to live.

I'll add that I also am very uncomfortable with the idea of being dead (I also don't believe in any form of afterlife). No matter how you try to rationalize it, it sucks IMO. The only remedy I have for this is to not think about it.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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10-11-2015, 09:00 PM (This post was last modified: 10-11-2015 09:04 PM by Banjo.)
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
(10-11-2015 05:43 PM)I need new swear words g@d@m1t Wrote:  Greetings - my name is J**. I came across this site when I googled a topic that lead me to an article here. I made a comment to it. I decided to join the forum because I need an answer to a question. I am 49 & my doctor told me back in January that I have a yr to live. I am virtually all alone & do not believe in an afterlife. I struggle with dealing, especially with the finality of it. What are your views on death, life purpose [I am childless], etc. If there is a forum topic on this, please direct me - the amount of topics are overwhelming. Thnx, J.

I am pleased to see this thread has been moved to Personal issues and support.

In September of 2014 I was given 8 weeks to live. I was told with super strong (my wording) chemo I may have a chance. I was then asked "Do you want treatment?" My answer was a strong YES! Smile

I too am virtually alone, except for this marvellous group of people who have put up with me through all kinds of medical trials, crazed stays in hospitals, near death experiences, you name it. I have a thread much like this where these incredible individuals have helped see me through some extremely dark days.

I am still here and am now the only person in my country on this experimental cancer drug that has so far kept me alive and I have hopes I can make it.

I have thought at times about death. When I do I pick a year in the past, for example let's say 1402. The year 1402 did not hurt me. To me death is like 1402. I simply will not be alive. Just as I was not in 1402. However, I am alive now. As are you.

There is an old buddhist story I like. A monk was chased by a tiger and scrambled down down to a single branch that stuck out from a high cliff. Above him was an angry and hungry tiger. Below a very long drop. While hanging there between two certain deaths, he saw a lovely flower. He reached across and smelled it.

We are both alive now. That is what I focus on, the now.

My family is very small. 1 brother, his wife and child, now overseas. 1 nephew living interstate.

1 87 year old father living many many miles away.

Luckily there is a cancer support team that takes me to and from hospital twice weekly. This week three time. (I had an operation yesterday. I have another tomorrow).

That is about it.

I try not to bother my friends. They are living their own lives and struggles. Some of whom are also ill. Two have cancer! They are there when needed.

I try to focus on life, as opposed to death. I am in contact with my brother and he sends me pictures via the net each day of my 2 3/4 year old niece. My nephew is in town for a few days and I hope to take him to dinner tonight.

I just returned from the cafe across the street where I had lunch and cups of tea. Read a good book. Watched the life around me.....

Basically I focus on life. Not death. I could die any day. The drug I am on is extremely strong and has resulted in the deaths of people already this year.

I figure death comes to all of us. I am not special. Just another human among many who are healthy and not.

Life is important.

That is my view. If ever you want to talk, I can be called via skype and if you want my # just PM me. I am on Australian time So check the world clock first. Smile

Many friends from overseas have called me at like 3 a.m. and all they got from me was "Huh? What" Blah blah blah".

Whatever you do. Stay in touch with this group on this forum. As I said, and keep saying, they are a great and supportive bunch. They will do all they can. As will I.

Good luck my friend. Dale.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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10-11-2015, 10:17 PM
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
Welcome!

I hope your doctors turn out to be wrong and that you have much more than a year left . In the meantime, this is a fun bunch of people and the conversations are interesting. You'll get support with less cosmic bullshit than elsewhere.
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10-11-2015, 10:40 PM
RE: what prompted me to join the forum
Well, I would make the best of my time left . If there was no treatment for my illness, I would take the biggest loan I could and fill my checklist of things I want to do before I die (traveling the world is one of them, and visiting a few members from TTA as well). Of course it wouldn't hurt to get a second and 3th opinion first, maybe it was a false positive for whatever you're supposed to have. If the other doctors say the same, well, time to plan my year long vacation

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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