yet another Bible-belter
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10-04-2017, 01:07 PM
yet another Bible-belter
Hello all!

50 year old Dallas-ite, both son and grandson to Baptist ministers (grandfather died before I was born ...Dad passed about eight years ago), atheist since my early twenties but probably only embraced the "title" less than 20 years ago. I'm fairly well-known and liked in my neighborhood despite being a pretty open-about-it atheist, so some parts of the bible belt can still be accommodating at least; being picky about who I call friends probably figures into it more though.

I think perhaps it's time to make an attempt to start engaging a little bit more outside of my comfort zone and this seemed as good a place as any to start. I'm in a weird place in my life ...everything is good except for the parts that aren't, and those are relatively few. I've been disabled for well over a decade with a bizarre condition that many would consider awful, but the onset was slow moving and I've had a lot of time to get used to it ...the short version is that I'm at varying degrees of dizzy constantly. It sucks, but it's the hand I got dealt ...I think I deal well.

Within a few years of the time that I was no longer able to work (former auto mechanic ...who studied art in college back in the dark ages), my parents health went into decline and I took on the role of caregiver since I certainly had the time on my hands. My mother passed about two and a half years ago, and like I said ...life is pretty good these days. I have zero debt, the estate left me enough to buy a condo and remodel it, my overhead is low and the sources of conflict in my family have faded.

I'm finding myself in the position of asking "what now?"

I think I thrived a little bit with the chaos. My relationship of eight years collapsed when my health issues became too serious to ignore, and I fought it with humor. I wrote a blog for a few years highlighting the absurdity in the mundane and recollections of the past through those glasses with the fake nose and mustache. Then came Dad with Alzheimers, and my mother with cancer immediately after (her diagnosis came the same week as my father going on hospice), and the humor faded from the picture. If I was an ardent atheist before, the casual dealings with family religiosity during the darker times certainly added to my confirmation bias about how horrid many of the religious can be.

I don't know what it is about the godless heathens, but we tend to have the best sense of humor; I'd like to find my own again.

One of the darker aspects during my role as caregiver was keeping my damn mouth shut. As one can imagine, a minister and ministers wife are going to have a ton of religiosity around them. I was NEVER "in the closet" by any stretch, but I gave a lot of leeway to the religious members of the family, and friends of, that was seldom returned in kind. I wouldn't do anything differently, but even two years later I still wrestle with the "your opinions have no value with this group, so you'd best not share them" mindset. It created lingering resentment on my part, and I'd like to crawl out from under them.

So here I am! I have a tendency to lurk and not interact ...I shall try to overcome.
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10-04-2017, 01:16 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
I hope you do overcome and don't just lurk.

Welcome to our community.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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10-04-2017, 01:22 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
Welcome!

“The first duty of a man is to think for himself” ― José Martí
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10-04-2017, 01:50 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
Welcome!
I too have recently "retired" from my role as live-in caretaker for my religious parents (my father died three years ago and my mother died last august).

While I was caring for them, I tended to restrict my interactions with other people; as an introvert, I guarded my alone time jealously and the last thing I wanted was other people intruding on that time.
Now that I don't have those duties to occupy me, I'm finding it hard to re-establish connections with others, even though I have much more freedom to do so.
I also find it very hard to be spontaneous, to do things on a whim.
I catch myself thinking that I "need to be home for ...", even after several months of "freedom".
I totally get the "what now" feeling you may be experiencing.

I've found that this site is a good way to start interacting with others and focusing outward, on what I want to do, rather than what I need to do (if that makes sense?)

Your faith is not evidence, your opinion is not fact, and your bias is not wisdom
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10-04-2017, 02:12 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
(10-04-2017 01:50 PM)Reducetarian Wrote:  Welcome!
I too have recently "retired" from my role as live-in caretaker for my religious parents (my father died three years ago and my mother died last august).

While I was caring for them, I tended to restrict my interactions with other people; as an introvert, I guarded my alone time jealously and the last thing I wanted was other people intruding on that time.
Now that I don't have those duties to occupy me, I'm finding it hard to re-establish connections with others, even though I have much more freedom to do so.
I also find it very hard to be spontaneous, to do things on a whim.
I catch myself thinking that I "need to be home for ...", even after several months of "freedom".
I totally get the "what now" feeling you may be experiencing.

I've found that this site is a good way to start interacting with others and focusing outward, on what I want to do, rather than what I need to do (if that makes sense?)

Makes perfect sense ...my needs are few, and it's been a while since what I want really even figures into things much. I get out a little bit, but seldom outside of my comfort zone.

I'm an introvert as well, although I've moved back and forth on the spectrum a lot over the years. I'll probably start a thread on it, but forming connections is really difficult for me.
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10-04-2017, 02:54 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
I'm here for many of the same reasons.

Our pasts are different.

But we're both disabled.

And I'm stuck in a tiny little town where I spent my adolescence -- but my friends here are long gone. Even their parents have left, meaning there's no chance of even bumping into an old friend while they're visiting family.

My computer is essentially my best friend.

Those friends that I do have are far away and phone calls just don't fill that friend-shaped hole. Neither does the internet, to be honest, but it's all I have. We all make do, I guess.

So welcome to the forums; you and I might be somewhat kindred spirits.

"If my God exists, then the laws in the Bible should apply to everyone. I am certain my God exists, so ..." -- words of a theocratic fascist justifying theocratic fascism.
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10-04-2017, 03:03 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
Welcome to the forum.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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10-04-2017, 03:19 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
G'day mate, and welcome to the forum. Smile

(And thank you too for your detailed intro.)

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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10-04-2017, 03:38 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
(10-04-2017 01:16 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I hope you do overcome and don't just lurk.

Welcome to our community.

Honestly, I've lurked here for a while as a guest.

I love your user-name ...reminds me in a pleasant way of nearly every female that ever worked in an auto shop I'd worked at. (that's actually quite a compliment, but I can't think of any way at present to rephrase it to sound as such)
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10-04-2017, 03:54 PM
RE: yet another Bible-belter
Great to have you here, Grauwyler.
We're a global community and I'm sure you'll find a variety of perspective in our discussions. So, don't lurk all the time ... jump in once in a while.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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